I Give Up

While my hair grew over those quiet months I had been watching and studying the women working with me carefully. I had learned to mimic their movement and mannerisms. Their dress and styling techniques I had to work at in order to achieve some success and therefore each evening I would practice alone; yet I wanted to become even more feminine. Looking into the mirror with my long dirty blonde hair I realized that I was willingly relinquishing some control to this stranger but this wasn't a classic dominant relationship. Anaisdom was leaving the participation completely in my hands, at least for the time being. I was surprised by my willingness. Though I had spent time on-line researching other trans behaviors the Instruction had caused me to want more than simply clothing; I was after a more complete shift, and I felt that I would not become a victim. I sensed I knew where this was headed.

Instruction #2

'It shall be absolutely clear that you will follow my directions without question, or don't'

'Take the hormones for the next one hundred days. Do not allow yourself to be with anyone, for you are only mine and your body must be for my appreciation '

The first package was right where the e-mail had said it would be, beneath a park bench near the fountain. I looked at the four foil-wrapped packages of pills. This could be dangerous and the tone of the Instruction seemed more assertive. I stood alone in the darkening evening light wearing my jeans and sneakers and looked at the pills. Why did I trust this stranger?

I stuffed the packs into my pocket but then stopped. Taking out one of the packs I saw that each held twenty-eight pills kept in a round disc thing and I pushed a pill from the holder and quickly swallowed it. I wanted this and could not interfere in the plan. Though it was crazy I felt different immediately for my commitment had become clear on the walk to the Park and now I was eager to get back and change, to fix my face and cleanse my smooth body; I had recently started to shave even the fine hairs on my hands and feet.