Alex

Without much warning he leaned over, pressing all of himself up against me. His head rested on my shoulder. He was soundly asleep, releasing soft sighs with each exhale. I questioned myself whether I should move him or not.

Once again I felt his skin on mine, this time it was much more than just an occasional grazing, his entire arm rested on mine. With his hair inches away from my face I could smell it's entire aroma, it was feminine and fresh, it smelled like he must use woman's shampoo.

As the movie came to an end he stayed like this, I started to ask myself why didn't I move him yet? To be honest it didn't feel like another male was leaning against me, it felt like a cute girl was. Between his long shoulder length silky hair, smooth pale skin, and small frame covered in little clothing it wouldn't be hard to believe that this was a girl.

After years without someone to hold I think part of me wanted to indulge in the illusion, part of me wanted to just pretend that this was a girl cuddling against me, though a smaller part was yelling that this was Alex and I should stop and move him off of me. Despite my voice of reason telling me to stop my loneliness and curiosity got the better of me, I put my arm around his shoulder, holding him close against me. Of course I knew this was Alex, and I knew this would end after this, and frankly I don't think I'd want it to go further, but I just need this, even if it was just for a moment.

My arm seemed to start rubbing up and down his freckled arm almost as if on it's own, his skin was silky smooth as a baby's, no roughness or stubble to be found.

My arm quickly halted when he moaned softly, not wanting to be caught like this if he woke up I carefully and slowly stood up, holding him in place. I set him down softly so he could lay against the soft couch.

Leaving him sleeping on the couch I hurried to my room, uncertain thoughts racing through my head. As I lie on my bed odd emotions and thoughts circulate through my head. The little contact I just had felt so wonderful and taboo at the same time. Even though I just rubbed my hand up and down his shoulder I felt guilty. Alex is my friend, my guy friend, so how could I have done that? Was I gay? I never found another boy attractive before, nor did I ever imagine me ever being with one.