confessions from the closet

I have been sneaking around for so long now I forget sometimes what I have done. When things come back to me I feel like such a shitty human being. The marriages I have corrupted, the relationships , shattered, my own included. I wonder if being a slave to lust will be my ruin, I wonder if |I even care anymore. I cannot begin to count how many men have been inside me, hundreds for sure over the years. Steady weekend trips to the bath house for three or four years at a time for a while , two solid stretches where I was single and could play at will on the weekends. Lurking in the steam room like a lil boy...like i was shy...at first sometimes I was. There were some who found me very attractive I guess, my youthful face and smooth body, well toned and solid, yet supple and pliant, willing, always willing.
I remember one noght,after drinking in the bar till just before midnight I made my way to DownUnder, A dirty hole in the floor bath house in the downtown...I luved that place...
He was a foreigner, his accent was eastern European, tall, dark haired and very slim, he was talkative and said hello almost immediately, I smiled and looked in his eyes briefly, giving him a slight smile. He could see i was young, I was no more than 25 at the time. Fresh into the beginning of an up comming divorce and still a bit shy. He sat beside me , close enough to touch, and I was already starting to slide to the bottom step when he open that towel to expose a huge , fat uncut cock like I had not seen yet. He took me right there, both hands on my head he fucked my face standing up with me on my knees, as I gaged he laughed and gripped my head,
" That's it pig , i'm going to fuck your throat till you think your going to drown..."
My mouth was as wide open as it could be, he grabbed my face and spread open my jaws with his fingers, pushing the bottom jaw open with pressure from behind the joint. I felt like a snake, I swear he had his balls in my mouth at one point. Drilling my face his heavy shaved balls slapping me with beautiful force. splatting my droll all over my face and body. My lips grew numb and he forced my gag reflex into oblivion. The first time he came it was heavy and thick, he let me take it like a porn whore. on the tip of my lips and hard into my nose and eyes...