Cincinnati Apocalypse Part 2

" His quip had come naturally, of itself, for that's who Xander was, at the core, a jester, a clown, a fool. Blessed (or cursed) with a quick wit and a genuinely funny sense of humor, he could always be counted on to lighten the mood-except when the love of his life had lost her life. The wisecrack hadn't been funny. It had been pathetic. Xander missed Anya more than he'd have believed it possible to miss anyone, and, in his time, which hadn't been all that long, really, Xander had seen a lot of death. Buffy had died, twice; her mom, Joyce, had died; Giles' girlfriend, Jenny Calendar, had been killed by the vampire Angel; Willow's girlfriend, Tara MacClay, had been killed by the annoying trio of nerds, one of whom was Andrew, who called themselves the Troika; the vampire Spike had been incinerated inside the Hellmouth; the Scoobies had killed Mayor Wilkins, blowing him to smithereens, whatever smithereens are, inside their high school library; Principal Snyder had been eaten alive by Mayor Wilkins, after the mayor had ascended to pure demon form during his commencement speech at their graduation ceremony and before he'd met his own doom at the Scoobies' hands-or, more precisely, the explosives they'd laid for him in the school's library; Faith, with whom Xander was now engaged in sex, had killed the assistant mayor-on and on the list of the dead went. No doubt about it, Xander, like the others, had seen way more than his share of death. None had hit him as hard as Anya's demise, though.

First and foremost, Xander had loved Anya because of herself, because of who she was-or had been. In his mind, she'd been the cutest of the Scoobies, which, considering how lovely Buffy, Willow, and Cordie were, was saying a lot. Her refreshing, if unintended, honesty had been endearing too, if, at the same time, frustrating. He'd also loved each of her mannerisms, expressions, and characteristics. He'd even loved her anger, although it could be extremely dangerous, even deadly. He'd also loved her beautiful face and her perfect body and the way she'd made love, with every ounce of her flesh, all of her considerable energy, and her entire soul.