Bimbo Bombshell

"EXCUSE ME!?! What the hell did you just say!?!"
"Bimbo Bambi...WHAT THE F....!!!!!?", she asked. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE CALLING A BIMBO!?"

It was like I was coming out of a trance, and someone had just snapped their fingers.........Success Meter back to zero.
"Huh, um, what?" l didn't realize I had said that out loud. "Oh, no! I said Bingo." "Yeah, my dog, and I named him that."
"Um, yeah. That's his name-Oh. Hehehe"
"Game over," I thought.

I began my lie......oops! (Now I have to pause and say this: I am one of the world's worst liars. I'm not saying I am some kind of pathological liar. What I'm saying is that I'm not very good at it. Now I had a Great Big Lie on the end of my Big Liar's Shovel, and I needed to quit digging, if you catch my drift.)

"'Yeah, my dog. I said You need to meet my dog Bingo, Bambi..." Lie Established.

"Real damn smart Jake." I scolded myself, inwardly. This time I managed to kept my damn mouth shut as I tried to figure this out. " Just Great! Now you can't take her back to your place. She'll want to see the dog." Real smooth. "You don't have a friggin' dog!...".... "SHIT!" "Where the hell am I gonna find a dog?"

"Jake?"
"Jake?"
...............
"JAKE!"

There was that finger snap moment again.

"Yeah, "Darling?". I chose a term of endearment that sounded nothing like, Bingo, Bimbo, or Bambi. Even "Hey, you!" was appealing now.


"You haven't touched your drink..."

Without thinking, I grabbed that fat double shot and tossed it back. I needed a drink now. In one gulp, it was gone. Two, maybe three ounces of top shelf reposado. Screw the lime and salt. A couple more gulps, and my beer was now empty as well. That settled my nerves a little.


"Alrighty then, are you ready to go, Jake?"

"Huh?" "Go, uhh, Yeah? Sure..."

"You'll have to come with me to my place up in the hills. I'm terribly allergic to dogs."

"Well, that's a relief ..." " Um, I mean, that it's good we didn't go to my place. I would have felt, um, terrible...?"