Whatever Your Heart Desires Part 6

"Is it as good as you fantasized?"

I gazed over my shoulder at her face, smiling contentedly.

"Better."

She kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"Happy Birthday, Baby."

I stared at her uncomprehendingly, then spun my head to the other side and shot a glance at Lexi. She was riding her own pony, but was gazing at me intently. She grinned and winked. I knew at that moment I had been set up. I returned my attention to Danni, kissing her deeply. She kissed me back.

"Thank you. I do love you so much. I can only think of one more thing that would make it perfect."

She gazed down, shrugged her shoulders a little, then kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"I can't. I still have some things to work out. I just didn't want you to think I didn't remember – or care."

My heart sank. Damn it! For a moment, I had thought.... I really had hurt her. But she still had thought enough of me to give me my fantasy for my birthday. I really didn't deserve her. At least, I could pretend – and enjoy her as long as I could.

Lexi convinced me, with difficulty, to adjourn with her to her condo with our dates. At that moment, the love of my life was once again on top, riding her stalwart steed. I gazed into her eyes silently, beseechingly. She looked down at the gorgeous stud beneath her, then looked at me, smiled wanly, and shook her head.

"We have... other plans."

I tried to hide my bitter disappointment. I hugged her, kissed her cheek tenderly, then breathed into her ear: "I've missed you." As we left the room, I glanced over my shoulder to catch a final glimpse of the one who had always been The One. She was peering over her shoulder, looking at me.

***

I first heard the buzz on one of the local early-morning TV news/talk shows as I was getting ready for work. A new non-fiction novel was about to hit bookstore shelves and everyone was touting it as a 'must-read'. They were calling it the next Black Like Me; a scathing exposé on legal and social intolerance toward this country's last generally-acceptable target of discrimination, persecution and hate, narrated by a person who had lived it first-hand. The title? Desires Deferred: Being Transgendered In America. The author? Danielle Devereaux.