The Greatest Lie Part 15

I douched with an antiseptic and lay down on an operating table. Sanguan and his surgical nurse gave me an IV, and the room blurred and faded.

I awoke in the recovery room; nearby, Tran dozed under her anesthesia. My groin was bandaged and packed and sent firecracker blasts of pain through me as soon as I moved. I called the nurse and said, "Please help me, the incisions down there are killing me! Can you give me pain medicine?"

"Not until I take out your Foley and you pee." She expertly removed the catheter, which made me cry out so loudly that Tran stirred. "Now you go pee," she ordered me. "Then medicine."

"But I don't have to go," I protested.

"Yes, you do," she ordered. "And no pretending! I'll be listening."

I staggered painfully to a toilet behind a plastic curtain, and gingerly sat down. At first, nothing came but more pain, and I sobbed miserably in frustration. By the time I had finished this painful chore, Tran was awake and protesting much as I had.

"Look," the recovery room nurse said, "Your friend is finished and she gets her medicine. Tran looked on enviously as I popped a Percocet.

She said dopily, "This mean nurse won't give me pain meds. Alexandra, go buy me some on the street."

"Remember what you told me about minding our manners, Tran. You don't want me to end up ying ting."

"Oh, yeah," she remarked as she limped to the toilet.

Sanguan reappeared, dressed in scrubs, examined us and pronounced us fit to leave to convalesce in our hotel. "Sorry about the rough treatment, but it is necessary that we test your urinary function before you leave us."

"That's OK, but don't send us off without plenty more of these," I said, brandishing my empty sample pack of Percocet.

"Only Vicodin. New drug laws mean no Percocet outside of this facility."

"Good God, you would think we were in Singapore, or Alabama."