Miss Bernie

" I looked around and didn't see Janie and her friend. When we neared our table I saw Janie and the big guy sitting at another table, he was holding both her hands in his. He was talking and she was smiling. When we got to the table I excused myself and said I had to go to the Lady's room. I went in and sat at a vanity mirror and touched up my face. No sooner than I finished I started to cry. I cleaned up the mess and started over. No good! I cried again, he was a huge handsome stud, I was a small effeminized shemale. Maybe she needed a real man, a stud. The room seemed to close around me. I could hear over and over that he never missed with girls he had been with before. I washed my face in cold water and fixed it again. I forced myself to be calm. I walked to the table and saw Janie sitting very close to her friend, their heads close together. I stopped by our table and squatted down next to Jan and pressed the keys to the van into her hand. I told her I had other things I needed to do and to give the keys to Janie, if she needed them. I stood and walked out of the club. The doorman had a Taxi for me in no time.

I went to the day care and checked on Mike. I hugged him and kissed him, I was crying. Tyler was pawing me, he knew something was wrong. I hugged him too and petted him. I ran out and got the cabbie to take me to the bus station. I got a bus to Charleston, West Virginia.

It was a long, long, ride. I didn't know what I would do when I got there. I had never been so low in my whole life. My face was sore around my eyes and cheeks from all the crying I was doing. I just couldn't seem to stop crying.

In Charleston, I rented a car and stopped at a Wal-Mart and outfitted myself with a few clothes. I drove to my old home place. It was deserted. I sat at the little graveyard and wept for my father and mother. Someone walked up behind me. I looked up and saw a familiar face, I knew it was a sister because it was almost like looking in a mirror, but I didn't know which one. She looked at me for a long time. She smiled and said, "I don't think I know you' but you sure look like a Jenkins!"