Miss Bernie

"This little puppy weighs almost as much as we do. He is nearly eighty pounds."

"He doesn't sound too cuddly does he?"

"Hey, he is a protection dog, He looks like a short haired Shepherd, he will attack on command. Don't kiss anyone he doesn't know or he may rip the guy's arm off. Yes, he can do that, he is weapons trained too, he will disarm anyone with a weapon who threatens you. Don't tell him to 'Stay' somewhere and forget about him or he will be there a week later if you don't call him."

"I was hoping he would be friendly, he sounds mean."

"Sugah, ya have to remembah A'm a trained killer too, A'm sort of friendly and cuddly sometimes, Ah think Ah am anyway."

"Wow, you have a mouth full of South today, Bernie, Honey. I think we need to get dressed to go in town, I made an appointment this afternoon for us both to get our hair done and our makeup done so we will look nice when we go for cocktails this evening at the Baker's house next door. And I do think you are the cuddliest person I have ever known."

"What should I wear in to town? When did we get invited next door?"

"There was a note under the front door this morning. I think your green full skirt with the beige shell and sweater set and your brown boots with the higher heels would look nice, you do need the practice. If you hurry we can stop for a salad somewhere first."

The worst thing about being a girl is the damned salads instead of a burger. I always seem to be hungry. Janie says I need to lose a little weight. Oh well, we girls have to suffer to be beautiful for our mates.

The Salon was a lot of fun. Janie told everyone that we are a couple. She said I have always been a Tomboy and that I need a little feminizing. Dawn, the owner, asked if I were the top in our relationship, I said no and Janie said yes. Everyone had a good laugh at that. I said we take turns really, but our two year anniversary is coming up and I want to look pretty for her.