Magician's Assistant - Friends & Lovers Part 9

"Well, as it worked out, Adameve was just as gullible in Version Three as Version Number Two's Adam, and ended up chowing down on the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Needless to say, God was pissed. And, can you blame Him? I mean, had I been Him, I'd have been pissed, too! So, as the story goes, thunder boomed, lightening crashed, and Adameve was, in a manner of speaking, rent asunder, in that Adameve somehow became two separate individuals, one male and the other female.

"And, as stated in the texts that I was allowed to perused, 'They knew their loss, and craved completeness.' In another words, in the moment of their severing, lust was born and the first engagement in the Battle of the Sexes ensued, as the blame game got underway in earnest. Adam was mad. Eve was livid. Both, it seems, were in some fashion or another rendered insanely jealous of what they deemed to be the other's providence.

"That's to say that they both, using the applicable biblical term, coveted what the other one got out of the deal. Fact is, were you to stretch the point a bit, you might even go so far to say that penis envy is a direct result of Adameve's sexual sundering. I mean, there's Adam, with this spigot-like thingamajiggy dangling down from his loins that not only takes all the muss and fuss out of urinating, but also has a marked tendency to become stiff and elongated whenever his gaze longingly fell upon his female companion's curvaceous body.

"Eve wasn't so fortunate. All she got in the deal was this little omnidirectional perforation that ruefully sprays her body's liquid waste all over the place. Then, to her everlasting chagrin and consternation, Eve comes to find that once every lunar cycle, her body is besieged with both painful abdominal spasms, and a bloody discharge that seeps out of that little crevasse crease of hers."

"Holy shit!" the former Mike Gerlach dejectedly muttered. "Damn it all to hell and back! I just realized something! Now that I'm a girl, I'm going to have to put up with periods, aren't I?"