Dream Date

'Today's woman wants a sensitive guy who can look after themselves, be caring and loving, not some athletic hunk who plays golf all weekend and drinks down the pub.'

'But I don't play the flute or go to the theatre.' I moaned.

She laughed, 'That's a creative license, how many hopefuls give a true profile, besides you enjoy cooking and entertaining. Don't be so whiny, trust me on this, what do you stand to lose?'

'Ok ' I say, 'but fashion, I had never considered myself a follower.'

She looked at my jeans and T-shirt then the goofy picture of me on my web profile.'

She nodded in agreement, 'Show me your wardrobe and perhaps we can find something more appropriate.'

Minutes later she was rummaging through my closest and chest-of-draws as if she was my mother. I could tell by her sighs that she wasn't impressed. I left her to it and poured us another drink. At least I was having fun and by now I was feeling quite intoxicated. On my return she had found an old pair of trousers and a colourful shirt. I didn't recognise them at first then realised they weren't mine but cast-offs from an old girlfriend. I laughed. 'That's a women's blouse, I think and a pair of ladies trousers,' I said. 'I'm not wearing them.'

Julia smiled and her fingers where already tugging at my belt as if my words had fallen on deaf ears.

'You really have to trust me. A future girlfriend wants to see you in something colourful and bright and all your wardrobe consists of is blue jeans and black and grey tops. Dull, dull, dull. Now don't be such a baby. It's only a photograph I'm going to take, they won't be able to see detail.'

I grin sheepishly and reluctantly let her pull my jeans down and T-shirt off like a mother undressing a child.

Dressed in just my underpants her hands were soon all over my smooth willowy legs like a rash.

'My goodness', she gasps, 'your legs are amazing you keep them well hidden. They're so long and smooth. Do you shave and moisturise? You shouldn't be covering them up.'