Dear Karen

01.06.09

Dear Karen,

I just want to tell you what a pleasure it was to meet you at the contract negotiations last month in San Francisco. Because of you, it was a delightful trip and one that I hope to make again soon. You are such as beautiful and loving person. You showed me the absolute ecstasy that one woman can bring to another. I never dreamed sex with a truly loving person could be so wonderful. I also appreciate you listening so attentively to my ruminations about my unsatisfying marriage and my worthless husband who thinks he is the next Picasso and spends his time dabbling at painting. The advice that you gave me about how to get control of my marital situation made for entertaining conversation but I did not, at the time, dream that it might be put into practice. However, I came home late from the office one night last week and there the worthless bastard was lying on the couch watching TV. Not only has he been unemployed for the past three years but he makes no effort to employ himself around the house. The first thing out of his mouth when I came in was how long before dinner?

I was furious at him. Then I remembered our conversation and commanded him to get up off of his duff and face me when talking to me. He looked like he had been slapped. I told him to get on his feet and face me and to do it now and while he was at it to turn that damn TV off. I looked on in amazement as he complied. I went eye-to-eye with him and told him things were going to change around here. I told him this is a joint operation and I'm the only one around here holding down a full-time job and bringing home an income. I reminded him that as a successful attorney with large law firm I bring home a very nice income and it is for that reason and that reason alone that he has the luxury of pretending to be an artist. I told him that if he was happy with the current economic arrangement then it was fine with me but it was high time someone took on the job of homemaker.

William asked me what I wanted him to do. I told him to get his lazy butt in the kitchen and get busy with making us some dinner. That I was going to go take a nice hot shower, change clothes and have a glass of wine. By the time I finished my glass of wine I expected a decent meal to be prepared and on the table ready to eat.