Curious

Confused curiouse.35 black lad.what am i if i desperatly wont to fuck a ts .i dont believe ime gay or am i.from my little finger aged 13.to now self lubing swuirting own cum load in arse.but i need the real fing.scsred of how i fee l afrer.stolen my frends  mum sis filthy stained used  knics.my own aunty.but as soon as i bust i feal guilty filthy.but the cycle continurs.now in kitchen gf asleep.poppers an others horny as hell watching tranny porn thinking of buying self squirt dildo need to now wot a load inside my arse feels like self breeding.gunna pop out n fuck myself.in local park tuk a condom from home and aerosol can has 2 be bout 8inches.tuked away in a Bush.no prying eyes cock already juicing up wiv the pre cum i taste the drip as i lay coat on the grass sit dwn pull jeans dwn.condom on cock start wanking my cock wiv a per of her used smelly panties freshly taken off from the washing.i take a pull on my pipe N gas ime so horny  i Blow a huge load in the bag.now i start to regret ashamed.i remove the filled bag from cock n tie it.about to retire felling guilt dirty .i take anava pipe n gas. Luking at the full condom and those used panties i immediatly grow hard dat feeling the lust for cock.i get the cum filled bag pierce a hole then insert inside my howl releasing a huge load into my ass.i postion my self in the squat postion.and insert my d.i.y toy inside my dripping ass inch by inch.inside my drenced ass i.pik up the bag and suck the remaining juice ass sloppy ftom cum i arch back legs high letting my ass absorb my own cum.pumping the can deep in me ass making squlching sounds.wishing that it was a real cock.i feal ime 2 explode anava load dis time not as much.aiming for my mouth i shoot a clear load but gud not do it to my mouth redirected over my chest i cream my hole wiv fingers den guilt shame.but i no the cycle will come again