Cassandra Chapter 1

I went to college, studied Computer Science, and played at being "One of the Guys". I went to football games, out to the bars, rode my motorcycle, and dressed very 'butch' - though with stylishly-long hair. It was more difficult to pursue my desires at school. There really wasn't much privacy in the dorms, so dressing was out. I moved off-campus to more private accommodations as soon as university regulations permitted, but even then I had roommates, homework and projects to contend with. I picked up scene magazines; "Cosmopolitan", "Elle", "Vogue", and specialty hairstyle and make-up magazines. I bought makeup, styling gel, hairspray and a set of hot rollers and spent whatever private time I had painting my face and styling my hair, then dressing in some cute little outfit I had pieced together. I spent my precious stolen hours in feminine bliss and dreamed of a day I could dress up without fear of being discovered.

During the spring of my senior year, I saw a promotional flyer for a seminar on 'Alternative Sexual Lifestyles'. I awaited the event with anticipation. At last, I would meet 'kindred spirits', people who saw sexuality as more than "Me Tarzan, you Jane", or "Paradise by the Dashboard Light". The seminar was a complete waste of time. It was an amateurish forum by campus gay and lesbian activists to vent their spleens against social injustice - at least, where it was unjust towards them. Nothing at all was said about the other variations on the 'Alternatives' theme. But there WAS Melissa.

I sat next to her (on purpose) and we began chatting between speakers. I was 'traveling incognito' in jeans and black leather biker jacket and carrying my helmet. She was spectacularly beautiful; long, thick, streaked hair a la Cindy Crawford, big, wide-set blue eyes, full, pouty lips. Melissa was not particularly well-built, but so what? She was engaging, effervescent, smart, sassy, sexy and self-assured. And, she was HERE! That had to mean SOMETHING. She was the kind of woman I could lose myself in - and did.