Betrayed Chapter 8

Now, that wonderment had sprouted and taken root like a long-dormant seed. It was turning out to be one of those things you didn't know you were going to like, then suddenly discovered you really, really do and can't get enough of. It's kind of like having a compulsion for Hot Fudge Sundaes – without the calories. Angie loved it. She now had a girlfriend at work with whom she had so much in common. That her girlfriend was also her supervisor, whom now wrote her performance reviews, was Serendipity itself. That her girlfriend was also... well, you get the idea.

Dianna couldn't have been happier for me. Now that 'Lisa' was going to be around 24/7, she lobbied me heavily to get 'done'. I was tempted, but worried about the degree of permanence it would attach to this strange new lifestyle. Was I ready for that? I offered up the thirteen weeks remaining before the show as a dodge. Would that be enough time? She argued yes, if we hurried. My lover had been surprisingly understanding about the 'promotion party'. She was not ashamed to admit using sex to get what she wanted and saw no difference in what I did; it wasn't like I was out cruising for a new boyfriend. I didn't see the wisdom in pointing out the 'new boyfriend' may have been out cruising for me. I loved her and that was that.

She was overwhelmed I had thought so much of her, I had immediately hopped in a cab and come to share it all with her, rather than letting it wait or not telling her at all. No one before me, she avowed, had ever displayed such consideration for her thoughts and feelings. She had begun crying again, and I had to find a creative way to dry her tears and turn her sobs into shrieks of bliss.

As much as I was learning about her, I still felt Dianna was an enigma. It wasn't so much what she said as what she didn't say. I had had the impression before; she was holding something back. I had visited Ringers and talk to Chantal and the other girls. I learned Dianna, like most of the girls, held back from everyone, including her friends, to protect herself from being hurt. Pain – both physical and emotional – was a constant in their world. I didn't know what she might still be withholding from me, but hoped it wouldn't damage us both.