Beefy Buns

"Uh," I thought of Mona on the stepladder, a step or two away from revealing the glory of her magnificent ass to me. "I'm going to have employees stand on the sidewalk, near the street, and wave a Beefy Buns sign showing a picture of a huge, succulent Beefy Buns Beefy Burger, with fries, that reads, 'Whet your appetite.'" This was the dumbest thing I'd ever said in response to one of Mr. Moore's interrogations, and I fully expected him to lambaste me for it.

At my desk, he'd tented his fingers. Now, he flexed his thumbs as he chewed over my suggestion in his mind. I waited, reminding myself not to wince when he let me have it. Instead, after a lengthy silence, he announced, "I like it!"

I was astonished. "You do?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Put the skinny blonde on it," he directed.

She's not "skinny," I wanted to tell him; she's "willowy." "You got it," I said.

For once, the bastard hadn't chastised me before my employees. Nevertheless, when he navigated his bulk out of my office and through the exit, crossed the parking lot, and lowered himself into his Lexus, no doubt putting a tremendous strain on its shock absorbers, I was glad to see him go.

I went to the counter, where Mona had assumed her station at the cash register again and was waiting on customers. I asked Sandra Smith, a pimply-face redhead with way too many freckles and unintentionally comical, oversize spectacles with thick lenses, to spell Mona. "Come with me," I told the latter.

"Back to the ladder?" she asked.

"Yes." I had no intention of putting Mona--or anyone else--to work in the manner I'd suggested to Mr. Moore. I was shorthanded already, and there was no way I was going to station an employee--and especially not one as good looking and sexy as Mona--on the sidewalk when he or she could be better employed in the kitchen.

As we were on our way out of the restaurant, I received a call on my cell phone. It was Mr. Moore, with a parting shot. "Get somebody to clean up the parking lot," he commanded. "It's littered with Beefy Buns wrappers!"