A Stitch in Time Saves Nine

It was, one may imagine, a laborious process at best. A supposed "improvement" to the contraption was electrifying it and substituting a "typeball" for the keys. The apparatus was replaced by the primitive word processors that began to appear in the late 1980's, which were replaced, in turn, of course, by the advent of today's voice-scribes.

A lot of other equally ludicrous gizmos and gadgets were on display, including several so-called "sex toys." One, known as a dildo, was molded from an erect penis and looked pretty much like a dismembered male member. All the ones we saw were circumcised, as it were, and included raised squiggles that were meant to simulate veins. Some were complete with balls made of latex, silicone, or plastic, and, believe it or not, some of these ludicrous implements could even be strapped on, a female employing a sort of girdle or "harness" to keep the phallus in place. Females who wore these absurdities could play the part of males, fucking either sex. When they fucked a male up his ass, the practice was known as "pegging."

According to our guide, some dildos were even equipped with vibratory appliances that allowed extra stimulation. These artificial penises were available in all sizes and colors, many of the hues of which are unavailable in actual human skin tones, and some were designed for "double penetration" of both the anus and the vagina; some were created specifically to stimulate a female's G-spot or a male's prostate gland; and still others, dubbed "butt plugs," were engineered to be worn, for extended periods of time, inside the rectum. There were inflatable models and jeweled models, and so-called ejaculating models. One was even a doubleheader, for mutual use between homosexual males or lesbians.

Monstrosities known as breast implants were available, too, for enhancing feminine appearance, for assisting male-to-shemale transformations, or for breast "reconstruction" following mastectomies, which were surgical operations in which the breasts were removed, presumably for religious reasons.