A Love of My Very Own

The look of elemental pain and confusion I knew all too well. A lot of young gay and bisexual men go through this, especially in the Black community where homophobia runs rampant. Whether Christian or Muslim, Black folks are NOT tolerant of gays and bisexuals, especially men. The young Somali man looked at me and told me he was fine. He clearly wasn't okay, but I could tell he didn't feel like talking to me. So I handed him my card. Bell Canada agent. Just in case you need a new phone, I said with a wink before returning to my seat just as my aunt emerged from the ladies washroom. And that's how I met the young man destined to be the love of my life.

That same night, I got a call from Rahim Muhammad, and even though it took much wrangling, I got the story out of him. Rahim was bisexual, and that's not considered okay in the Somali Canadian community. The majority of Somalis are Muslim, though I hear there's a growing Christian minority in Somalia these days. Islamic law sees gays, lesbians and all non-heterosexuals as perversions in the eyes of its strict doctrine, and Somalis follow its tenets to the letter. Rahim told me he's married to a Somali woman named Fatima, the lady I saw at the mall, and they have a daughter together, little Aisha. When news about Rahim Muhammad's bisexuality got out, his wife decided to divorce him even though he swore to her he'd been faithful throughout their marriage.

I learned quite a bit about Rahim Muhammad that night. He was twenty six years old, a recent graduate of Carleton University with a bachelor's degree in Criminology. He worked for the National Gallery of Canada as a techie and hoped to join the RCMP someday. He considered his wife Fatima and their daughter Aisha to be his reasons for living. I could hear the pain in his voice, and he thanked me for being so understanding. Then he asked me why a Jamaican beauty like myself would be so friendly to a bisexual Black male since my people are notoriously homophobic. I held my breath. This sweet young brother thought I was what I appeared to be, a normal woman. I could lie to him, but I couldn't bear it. So I told him what I was. A post-operative Transsexual living a normal life. Complete with family, house, car, job, and dog. I even go to church, a non-denominational ( and mostly African ) church in Mississauga.