What People Want Me To Be

"Embarrassed? I already knew you were too flat for a bra. I just wish this dress weren't in the way . . ."

"I really am stupid, you know that? Falling into the same pattern, over and over . . . It's so wonderful, so powerful, to feel someone writhing under my tongue, and to know that I can control them so utterly. Then they want to do the same thing back, and sooner or later, they start to wonder why I never let them. Sometimes, I try to explain. One time, I even gave in."

He knew that he was supposed to ask what happened. Instead, he simply took his hand away and waited.

"You're so kind. You've never been anything other than kind. But I still don't know what you'd do. The way she looked at me . . . I can't live with that again."

If he had known how to say it, he would have told her that he didn't care what she was. That he cared about very few things in his life, drifting in a haze that he wished he could call nirvana, but that was better described as apathy. That it was thanks to her that he'd stayed at a movie he would have walked out of, thanks to her that he'd repeatedly ordered food he couldn't pronounce, and thanks to her that he'd just had a piece of vibrating plastic shoved up his ass. If he had known how to say it, he would have told her that whatever she was, she had made his life far stranger than it had been just a short while ago, and that he'd always love her for that.

He didn't know how to say it, so he rolled on top of her, and smothered her surprised grunt with a kiss.

She shoved him off. "You don't even know whether I'm a girl or not."

He had an answer to that one. "I may not be your magical boyfriend, but I'm willing to be your fairy."

At that, she smiled. "You can talk the talk, if nothing else."

"I'll wait for you, until you trust me. That's the only thing I can do . . ." A thought caught his mind. "Though we could work our way up to it."

"What do you mean?"

"Just lie facedown, and I'll go wash off the vibrator . . ."

"Oh hell no!"

She gave in.