Healthy Behavior

Anyway, after doing some semi-regular work with Yahoo, and some nickel and dime consulting with Netscape and eBay, the dot-com boom on the stock market began. As a token for my work, I was awarded boatloads of stock. How much stock? Well, put it this way. In the span of a few months, I became wealthy enough to vote Republican. And the riches got bigger and bigger. After a while, I just stopped working and bullshitted now and again to CNBC. What difference do my words on that channel make anyway? I could say bullshit selling would be the future of the 'net economy' and venture capitalists would throw 8 figures at bullshit.com. Who cares.

But let me get to the big story before we start talking about what I know you wanna talk about. I know you can't stop staring at my tits. You're curious about my tits, huh? And my big juicy nipples…mmm, let me play with them for a bit. I need the endorphin rush before I talk about that bullshit. Oh, that feels so nice. Let me pull on them a bit…mmm, ooo, there we go. Ah, now my nipples are all hard. I can't put them back in my dress. Mind if I keep my tits out? We're all girls here…well, at least I look like one. Hehehe. Thanks.

Anyway, on to that big SEC investigation. Around the time I sold all those stocks, I was getting sick of the whole dot-com business. After all, I was richer than a pharoah before the age of 30. Why the fuck should I have kept working? So that fateful day in late February 2000, I told my broker to dump everything. EVERYTHING. I know the market dipped a bit on the strength of my shares. Who knew that I was the needle that was to break the dot-com bubble on NASDAQ? A couple weeks after the big dump, people finally started to ask for real profits from dot-com companies, and it just went from there. I understand the whole SEC thing. I mean, think it. The fact that I cashed out to the tune of 9 figures right before a stock market crash looks shady to anyone with two working eyes. But what can you do? After all, the law is the law, and they can lay the smackdown on whoever they want. I have no ill will towards them. It was just incredible timing.