Catching Up

I'm not going to lie – I was in heaven. Mark seemed to have instinctively taken over the role of leading our, catching up, date. I didn't mind, in fact I appreciated it, though I admit, it was going to be hard to not react to his friendly banter.

We sat down and Mark studied me. I felt slightly uncomfortable, but knew this was the first time we'd seen each other in years, and the first time he'd ever seen me as Victoria.

"You carry it well," he suddenly said, jarring me from my personal musings.

"Thanks. It was hard in the beginning. I took baby steps, jewelry, shoes, ladies pants, blouses, eventually though I found where I could be me and where I couldn't," I told him.

"And this is where you can be – you?" he asked.

I nodded my head. The drinks arrived and we began go over the past several years. I learned about how he had managed to put away some money, make a few investments, do a few interviews and eventually found himself curious as to what more was out there for him. He didn't focus too much on past relationships. I sensed they were sore subjects for him, so I opted not to press. I know I may occasionally dress like a girl, but I am still a man; no matter if we're bi, straight, or gay, we still have a hard time expressing disappointment and loss.

When Mark took a break, I squeezed in a few key details about my life. I mentioned my past employers, as well as a few past relationships; they were few and far between, which was good for me in some ways, bad in others.

I liked knowing I hadn't been playing the field so long that I knew what I liked and what I wanted. I hated having so little experience and that I was still nervous about how to choose the right lover.

Sometimes I wished folks ran around with signs over their heads saying "I'm safe" - "I'm cool" - "I'm the one mom warned you about" – yet there was nothing like that, so it took me a while to really open up and bring a partner back to my place. I hoped that tonight I would. It was obvious to me that Mark had already captured the eyes of several pretty young women.