Bizarre Bras

A pair of cherry pies strapped to one's chest offers a more substantial dessert for the lady or shemale who likes to eat sweets.

On the cover of a recent issue of Rolling Stone, a bare-butt Lady Gaga modeled a new bra design for the rock-and-roll groupie. It consists of a pair of M-16 semi-automatic rifles strapped to her cups. She's armed and ready, defending women's and shemales' right to bear arms in defense of whatever it is that needs defending.

One of the simplest designs is the most effective. It consists of Caucasian-colored latex cups in the shape of breasts, complete with natural-looking latex nipples, albeit not in their erect state. The straps are clear plastic, but, unfortunately, they tend to shine a bit in light, detracting from the illusion that the model who wears this bra is not only braless but topless as well.

For women and shemales burdened with the nesting instinct, another design transforms bra cups into feathered fowl, complete with heads. It's a cute idea, maybe, but the beaks and beady eyes are a bit too much. (Titty Tip: To make the illusion complete, carry a box of birdseed with you, offering the food to the birds whenever you want a little attention from passersby.)

There are other designs for women and shemales who are interested in drawing even more attention to their breasts than their breasts themselves are guaranteed to draw. As the human imagination clearly demonstrates, breasts can be envisioned as almost anything, including aquariums, cradle boards, flowerpots, arachnids, strips of fatback and pork loin, human hands, pigs' heads, ice cream, crustaceans (or pubic lice), baseball gloves, sunglasses, prehistoric fish, spikes, telephones, watermelons, pies, combat rifles, tits, or birds, To catch a glimpse of them, simply type "bizarre bras" into the Internet image browser of your choice.