A Religious Experience

I lived in Brooklyn, in the basement of my parent's house back then. I was the only child left, all the sisters were either married or on their own. To get to my apartment there was a sloped driveway that led to a backyard, this is where I parked my car. The door to my place was in the alleyway, directly across from another basement door. The Kaplling's lived there. They were a Jewish family, led by Rabbi Ira Kaplling, his wife, and at least seven kids. I couldn't keep track of the little ones. Once one left, the wife would become pregnant again.

I was coming home late one night from a pharmacy I frequented in Queens, of all places. I used to go with a list and make-believe I was picking up items for my mother. In actuality, I just wanted to buy pantyhose. This was my true obsession. I would get various sundries, but always end up with at least five pairs of stockings, and sometimes makeup. I was a little obsessed with mascara. I parked in my backyard and made my way to the side door to get to the apartment. This night I had two shopping bags. I was startled and I ran into Rabbi Ira, I dropped one of the bags. Back then Leggs pantyhose came in a package shaped like an egg, and suddenly all the eggs were rolling down the alleyway. I was so embarrassed as he apologized and helped me with 'my mothers' pantyhose.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you." He said. I was sweating and my heart was racing. I didn't want anyone to look out their window but more importantly, I didn't want him to think all of these items were for me.

"I just came back from the store for my mother," I told him as I put the Leggs into the bag.

"Nothing beats a great pair of Leggs." He said to me. I just smiled. He kept on talking to me. "You know from that commercial."

"Yes, I know," I told him. His voice got a little quieter as he looked up towards the windows of his house.

"Alya doesn't wear stockings." Alya was his wife, the two of them must have been in their early forties back then.